Oh Crap - 8/2/06

WARNING: *************If you’re disgusted by reading or thinking about bowel movements, you might not want to read this post!!!******************

2am: What I wouldn’t give for solid crap right now. What would you do for a Klondike bar?... I have Klondike covered, but the problem is it’s a little melted by the time I see it. I wish I spoke French. If I could actually speak French then maybe I could explain to my host family that all of the oily and spicy foods have began to accumulate in my stomach, leading to an interesting acid reflux problem that’s been haunting me for the past 5 days now. I tried to express this to them yesterday, but for dinner I had french fries with spicy tomato/piedmont sauce. Today for dinner I had couscous with fried cheese… and the couscous was pretty spicy too… so here I am now, just trying to compress the flow long enough to complain about it.
Oh yeah, since I officially qualify as having diarrhea (according to the Peace Corps Medical Handbook, of course) I broke into the rehydration salts they issued us as part of the medical kit…. Yeah, emphasis should be made on the ‘salts’ part... these things taste like pure, warm salt water. I almost feel like I should add a piece of seaweed to my glass for decoration… it makes sense; you add a slice of pineapple to mie-ties, a piece of mint to mohitos, a cherry to a cherry limeade…. If only I could find a piece. Hey, if it were kelp it might even replace all the nutrition that’s constantly creeping out of my body…. And really, it’s always creeping… eerily creeping… bye bye bananas, bye bye couscous… bye bye sleep.
2:30am The chamber pot says, “ploooop”. The crickets say “creeek creeek”. The Sarah says, “aaaaawwwww”…. And soon thereafter she finds her way back under the mosquito net where her eyes quickly close again and she drifts off to the phantom world of solidarity and good health.